[QUOTE=ScientiaOmnisEst;4778491]It never ends, does it? Read some stuff about how spiritual people are gullible and less intelligent, how admitting you're into any of that makes you a huge target because you're so easy to manipulate, and people lie and don't care in order to sell you things. And that obviously such things as altering oneself by will or spiritual energy do not exist. That Reality is magical and that should be enough (interestingly, that's a chronic condition of mine. Reality has always seemed inferior and dull. In fact, I find I relate to it primarily through fiction. Seriously, I come to terms with things by reading novels or dreaming up stories, because research stresses me out so quickly).

----------So you live in your own made up dream world ? Any professional here care to make a diagnosis ?

I know that I'm especially vulnerable due to my mental issues, my long-standing aversion to engaging "reality" for too long, and my general feeling of spiritual starvation. Yet the more I read saying it's all irrational nonsense only believed by people with no critical thinking skills, the more miserable I feel, and I wonder if I shouldn't just start studying the dull, real world. Force myself to learn the science I'm too dumb to learn (I failed enough college classes to know that)and all the analytical stuff I never cared for anyway. I just want to experience life, I just want to be calm and stable and be able to live without constant anxiety (something I know becoming a skeptic in any serious sense - you know, the kind of person who sees fallacies and biases everywhere. Another fear of mine being having to lose my natural feeling, intuitive tendencies in favor of becoming analytical and dry...), but it's impossible. I thought this would help, but I can't be that person. I can't be that idiot following woo and nonsense. I refuse to be part of that narrative.

------------You don't know what "woo and nonsense" is. Your admitting to no formal education at all. You sure fooled me. But then again you have fooled yourself by your schizophrenic sentencing, verbiage , and thinking.

I probably just think I'm skeptical, when I'm not really...if I were a true skeptic I'd believe the scientific evidence that says it all isn't real....that I'm just kind of stuck with material reality with nothing beyond it. Because it feels like excuses all around. If a decide to try it, I know I won't just be doing it for shits and giggles: my heart will be in it. I'll be doing whatever it is with the full intent of making it work as best as possible - which will only bias me. Of course I'll think it will work. Of course I'll see results because I want to...but I also may not see results (and experience all the effects that go with that) if I go about thinking "This is stupid and it won't work". I suppose I have a vision of it inspiring me enough to help me overcome myself, of teaching me strength....and also, yes, of opening a new and unknown world. Those are my interests. These are what I suppose I want from alternative spiritual exploration.

------------------You can want whatever you like but what you need is a reality check. Rather a course in what reality is.

------------------The rest of your total confusion I just deleted.
Get the help you need.