Divorce is hard, no matter which side you are on...

You describe yourself as being fragile, but your wife is, too. It sounds like you are the initiator of the divorce. She's been married to you for forty years and she didn't want this ending of your relationship.

Your daughters are grown up and I'm sure they've seen the dynamic between you and your soon to be ex wife over the years. You admit to calling your wife up, starting a fight with her and calling her something incredibly foul. I hope you can understand that this would be upsetting to both she and your daughter.

I hope that you can hold your tongue and be a bit more diplomatic with your wife, for the sake of your relationship with your daughters, if nothing else. It's sort of normal for her to lean on your daughter for support- she's losing her identity as a married woman and she's doubtless feeling very abandoned and anxious.

Give it some time and treat kindly...and I think your kids will come around when the dust settles.

Best of luck...