I did retail a long time ago. Even people that have it together come unraveled during the holiday season. Don't stress, just do one thing at a time and focus on that. You have a nice way of expressing yourself. Perhaps you can do so one on one with someone who will be able to listen to you? Hugs... we are here for you but having a live person to talk too is so much better. Hoping you find a confidant soon. Blessings.