Hi,
I am new to this site and just thought maybe this could be a helpful and safe place to seek support. I am very attached to my T (and I know I am not the only one, despite how lonely it feels at times) and really wish she was my Mom.

--------------OK. This is a psychotherapy thread right ? How long have you been seeing her ? Has it been long enough for a transference to take place ?

We see each other a lot during the week in addition to our sessions as I am in a program she helps lead, so you could say seeing her so much definitely doesn't help with the attachment. When I first told her about the Mom stuff and how attached I had become, she was so warm and caring.

-------------She's just doing her job. I mean there's nothing wrong with your feelings towards her, but you have to work out your real feelings towards your mother, which I think is the real issue ,( that you will probably discuss with her at some point in your treatment ).

Lately, however, as I seem to be getting more triggered by her (even a change in her tone of voice sends me into a complete spiral about her not caring), she is acting a lot more distant. I am so afraid my attachment and intense feelings are pushing her away, even though she keeps affirming that isn't happening. That's just not the way it seems.

--------------First of all what do you mean by "triggered". Do you get hot for her ? Is she hot ? Doe's she remind you of your mother in some way ? Do you really want her sexually ? What does she do to trigger you ? Of course she is going to seem more distant as she's not going to feed or fall into your neurosis. Remember , she's the therapist and your the client !

When I am triggered, she gets really irritated and says things like how it's not about her or her acceptance of me. She says it shouldn't matter whether she cares or not... I need to be strong on my own. I understand her wanting to promote independence in me, but all of it just feels so cold compared to her original reaction - full of warmth and compassion, affirmation and love.

----------What do you do when you get triggered by her ? She is right. It's not about her. Your not there for her to like you. Privately she probably doesn't really care about you. At least not in the way you want her to. What do you want her to do ? Hug you ? Kiss you ? Tell you what a good son you are ?
The whole idea of therapy is to disconnect you from your neurosis. ( Just thinking about Freud right now ). I think your exaggerating her initial reaction to you which was just a positive affirmation to start off with.

I was wondering if anyone else has had a similar struggle and how they respond when T says things along these lines or changes their approach so much? I just feel so ashamed for wanting her acceptance so bad and her reaction just doesn't help... I only wish it was that easy