Hello there. But enough about you. I'm 17. I've been having problems for the past five years. I have a million problems, real and imaginary. Anger management, no friends and social life of any kind, I don't study ever, I'm always kind of sad-ish, sometimes I have sadness or rage attacks. A couple of days ago I realised I can't remember the last time I was really happy. In school I always keep to myself, don't like talking to anybody and am a mixture of awkwardness and aloofness. Yesterday when I fake smiled while talking to a professor he said:"Hey, she's smiling!" It was weird, I'm weird.
I'm kind of having a bad day. My dad is depressed and my mom doesn't respect me much. She says she does but her actions show opposite. We had a little fight because of a broken promise and it seems like she doesn't want to apologize because her ego is threatened. I haven't left my room all day in hopes that she'll call me, but no. I even tried fake crying. Tomorrow I have to visit my psychiatrist and my other doctor for anorexia. I was supposed to gain some weight but I can't eat when I'm sad. My life sucks a little.
I'm so very passive and problematic and dead inside. I really don't know what to do. It seem to me like I'm in an infinite loop of ****. Nothing is being solved.
I cry a lot. Right now my head hurts from crying. All my shrink can do is prescribe some meds, which I don't want to take! I've been on meds before and I can't remember anything from that period of my life because of the side effects. So no. And I've been offered hospitalization for anorexia and other stuff which is awful. I don't believe these are the only ways to solve problems. My question is - has anyone here felt down for years and managed to get a life by themselves, with self help, without any support? Tell me a story idk
Thanks for reading and please excuse my english.