It's more normal than you think (I'm 25). I can't tell you how many times I've either had zero chemistry with the person I dated. That, or I would "click" with the person only to fall apart before a normal relationship happened.

What I found is I often got frustrated if things didn't happen right away. In reality, there's no time limit. Chances are you won't find the right person for years...I'm still looking for that person after quite a few bad dates and failed relationships.

I also find that the best situations often happen spontaneously instead of formally. Some of the best connections can be made just by hanging out and doing nothing special --- it's sometimes a good indication about the person you're with if you're able to hang around normally and enjoy being together with that person, versus a dinner or coffee date where you're almost forced to chit-chat.

As for people treating significant others badly...it really, really sucks. I've been there before as well with women. When I eventually got over those feelings and stepped back to rationalize the situation, I realized I should not have been wasting my thoughts on that person because she wouldn't do the same for me. That made me feel a bit better about it, but it doesn't minimize the fact that it SUCKS being used.

It's tough, but the best thing to do in this situation is to keep your eyes open and try to find a situation where you can meet a person you effectively connect with. You don't have to be dating "a lot of people at once"...that may work for one type of person, but not for everyone. Just make those connections at your own pace, be patient and see where it leads. It will likely mean less frustration in the long run.

I'm really no expert in any of this myself as I've had a spotty history of relationships. But I thought I'd give my two cents on the matter. All the best.