I become very agitated & restless & "switched on," unable to relax, my mind races & I feel very very anxious. I can't stop moving & just want to express to someone how I'm feeling but never seem to be able to communicate it properly. Like they don't understand how much distress I'm in. I usually (trigger) want to self harm in an act of self punishment & hatred because I can't fight my way out of the state of mind I'm in. I'm extremely irritable & all up in my own head, people & noises & smells & sensations agitate me. I feel persecuted by those around me. Not exactly like people are out to get me but that people are forcing a way of life upon me that I can't live just because it suits them. I can become very angry & aggressive at times. At worst I want to destroy those around me. I start to think of (trigger) suicide as an escape from my mind. I've had auditory hallucinations during one of these states in the past. A woman telling me in stupid, but I was very aware that it was a hallucination. All this comes with an urge to resolve the way I'm feeling but with absolutely no motivation to do so, like I can't think of what would help me.