I feel like this all the time too. Ive had therapists ask me what I imagine my life would look like if I was normal and even the question gives me anxiety. I've been like this so long that normal is hard to imagine but Ive daydreamed some and tried to find a normal I would be happy with and I couldnt. So I daydreamed about wildly successful everything is great dream and even that was terrifying. I dont know. I also think sometimes when a therapist asks that its a trap. This is what my normal life would look like and then they respond oh really? And suddenly therapy now is all guided toward that one goal.