Quote:
Originally Posted by Random
I feel like this all the time too. Ive had therapists ask me what I imagine my life would look like if I was normal and even the question gives me anxiety. I've been like this so long that normal is hard to imagine but Ive daydreamed some and tried to find a normal I would be happy with and I couldnt. So I daydreamed about wildly successful everything is great dream and even that was terrifying. I dont know. I also think sometimes when a therapist asks that its a trap. This is what my normal life would look like and then they respond oh really? And suddenly therapy now is all guided toward that one goal.
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Yes! Whenever people (therapists, psychologists, psychiatrists, mostly) ask what my goal is, or what I see "better" as, I just stick with the generals. I'll focus on relationships, not be afraid of food, blah blah blah, etc. what's expected. But in reality I don't even know how to comprehend a life like that.
Thankfully I brought this all up with my therapist today, and she reminded me that it's not one big leap from "sick" to "recovered." I can do little things each day to gradually improve. And that's way less scary to me than thinking long-term. Even if it is still terrifying. Honestly, my therapist was really supportive about it, even when I told her I sometimes felt close to giving up on "recovery" all together.