I'm getting depressed again. Lot of stress and negative thinking. Awful weather lately too (rain and grey skies).

I'm having suicidal thoughts but not making plans. I have searched on tumblr for things about suicide or depression though.

I cannot stay away from a girl I kind of like. A lot of texting but she has shirt responses so I feel like she is not interested in talking to me. Sometimes I feel sad and she doesn't ask why or help me get through it. That makes me feel unworthy of her attention.

No pets to cuddle when I feel especially crappy. Not allowed. Living at home and mom says no. Lame. Bad for my mental health too. Animals are therapeutic for me...especially cuddly ones.

Lonely. Few friends. Most are too busy to hang out. I am too I guess. Stressed by my job. Make a lot of mistakes there and afraid I will be fired for them.

Just ugh. Hopeless. Unhappy. Stuck working a job that's just okay but very unrelated to what I went to college for.

Not having fun like going out to parties or clubs. Sit at home a lot after work. Sleep a lot or at least lay in bed a lot. Don't even really want to spend time with my family.

I feel I could sink deeper and become more suicidal. Negativity not good for my job either. Lots of triggers there because it's human services social work stuff.

Anyway excuse my complaining. Just feel incredibly crappy and alone at the moment. Thanks for reading.

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