Do you think maybe you were hoping he would say something or share his feelings like he did before to make you feel connected? It seems to me your not speaking was a way to convey that HE needs to do something, rather than taking responsibility for your own therapy.

Then you called him, telling him you SI'd . Why did you feel the need to tell him this? It kind of seems like a way to punish him because he didn't behave the way you wanted, or maybe even an attempt to get him to do it over the phone. Were you trying to indirectly tell him that you SI'd because you felt so disconnected? You said "I felt so far away and disconnected from you, and you did nothing to make it easier."

What can you do to help yourself feel connected to your T in session (and out)? For me, I talk and am very open and honest, and my T reciprocates. She hears me and is there for me and our deep connection is based on my being real and sharing my innermost pain with her.