So I guess the question is pretty obvious. I'm sorry that this might be a long post.

This is quite hard to explain, but for a while know I've been feeling a bit crappy about myself. It's not like a constant "I feel so bad"-mood, but a few times a month I just really want to cry my eyes out because I don't feel good about myself. I've had hirsutism since I was a teen, and it makes me really self-conscious and ugly. I'm so embarrassed about it that I can't even say the word hirsutism out loud to myself. It also doesn't help that I often read really hurtful comments about the condition online and at this point I just feel like I'll be alone for the rest of my life because no one will ever want me. Even just the thought of having to say this to a potential boyfriend makes me think like "never going to happen". I just really want to find someone to spend my life with and maybe have kids, but I just feel like it will never happen and it really brings me down. I just don't see the point of going on if I haven't found someone in a few years time and I'm going to spend the rest of my life alone and die old and alone someday. I don't know, the future just seems so gray and lonely.

I just also really can't concentrate on university anymore. I'm in my last year and need just a few more classes to graduate, but my brain just won't work with me. During the first year I really studied a lot (too the point where it was too much to be honest) and I did well. But the last 2,5 years my motivation has just been going down the drain and I don't know why. I just can't bring it up to study anymore, it seems like a huge task (even though it is, but still). Did I really go from study-freak to lazy procrastinator in 2,5 years time? I'm worried because I really need to graduate, but another part of my brain just doesn't even get nervous about the exams anymore. I just honestly want to lie in bed all day with my computer even though I really want to study. But when I start studying the concentration and motivation is gone in like half an hour and I start thinking about like youtube videos or something I just really don't want to drop out when I so close to the finish line.

I just don't know what to do with all of this and I've been wondering for a while whether I should see someone? Any thoughts are really appreciated.