In the beginning, I really didn't think the relationship would work out. We were having so many issues. One week would be good, the next week horrible. I even went T shopping at one point! I even told her I did. Part of our problem was that T was kind of forced to be a middleman btwn my ex-T and I. T said it made her feel like a "bad guy". And I think I kept my distance from her hoping to find closure with ex-T.

But a few months ago, we finally gave up trying to get me closure. Ex-T just wanted nothing to do with me, so I filed my grievance and let the board of psychology decide. It's actually a relief to let go of trying to get something that is not possible to get. So for the last couple months, it's just been me and T. I even tested her by revealing my secret to her, but she stayed. And she has stayed with me through all of the drama. She even gave me tips on how to find my next T! But every time I felt like leaving, there she was. She didn't make promises, she didn't try to be something she's not. But she was there for me. Every time I realized she still didn't leave, only encouraged me to keep trying.

So after all of this: abandonment by ex-T, distrust in Ts, T being middleman, me searching for new T, my anger, my depression, my testing, figuring out both of our boundaries, learning how to communicate, learning that both of us need reassurance, etc. After all of this, T is still there. She has been honest, she has put in a lot of effort. I'm so grateful to her. The hug was for both of us. It's was me letting my wall down for her and it was her making our relationship stable and safe for me.

After what I went through with ex-T, I think that everything with T will be okay. There will be bumps and there will be a termination. But I trust that things will be better.