I spent a lifetime trying to coach my mom on how to act like a mom. I confronted her when she acted crazy. I did everything I could to make her notice me. She lied manipulated everyone in my family to blame me for her unhappiness and somehow her alcoholism. At the end I phoned her regularly and once every year she would come to the phone to speak to me. Eventually, I started talking to her in my head. I told her I loved her and admired her for all her good points. Then I told her out loud that I was holding her in my heart. She started sobbing and hung up the phone before she gave me information about my Dad's stage 3 cancer. I am feeling better and better about her because I am changing, she just stays the same or gets worse. I saw her as a vulnerable helpless troubled girl in my mind the other day instead of a mom who makes me feel like I can never get enough love. Now I have to work on myself finding love.