I picked "other"

I've lied intentionally and unintentionally about how I am doing. Sometimes a T was able to see through it, other times I had to bring a T's attention to it. I have trouble with feeling like I need to live up to expectations, and often times those expectations are purely my own, but I ascribe them to others. With my previous T, I was deliberately hiding how I was really feeling for a while because of agency restrictions around who could be in treatment. She started to pick up on it, and we ended up talking about it. I was refered out shortly after b/c of my increasing depression.

I think that was the only time I deliberately lied to someone I had worked with. Other lies only happened to crisis workers or minimizing certain aspects of my struggles at the start of therapy to avoid unnecessary hospitalizations.

With current T, I feel like I'm lying about the more recent memories we've addressed, but T says she believes me. I think she would be able to see through any lie I may tell her. I'm not sure she would confront me right away, but I'm fairly confident she would pick up on it. She lets me "fake it" as long as it is serving me positively to keep faking competence or functioning. Once it stops being helpful though, she points it out. I think if I out-right lied about symptoms or what I was experiencing, she would take it in stride and address it as necessary (if I told her something had happened that did not actually happen, she would probably use it to help inform treatment... It's what she is doing with my denial of the abuse memories that came up)...