Sorry you're hurting. Why are you ending with your T? Sounds like it's not really a voluntary act?

Very sweet that your T got you a gift ("again," which means this isn't new to you.) I'd b over the moon myself if my T gave me anything. She never has, and I'm sure it's in her boundaries never to do so. She used to occasionally sign her Emails with "Love,T." I loved it. I did feel loved, cared about. I don't anymore.

My thought is, you're protecting yourself by trying to detach yourself from your T before you have to say goodbye. That's not all that unusual to be/feel like when "the end" is coming. Don't be too hard on yourself. I'm sorry you are leaving your T. But very nice of her to give you a gift.