Plum Princess, (((hugs))). IF the person you are with makes you feel like a different person than what you are, you NEED to ask them to leave. To thine own self be true, otherwise you are being an enabler, sacrificing your own self for someone elses happiness. That never works. And you also are being codependent defining your worth on being needed by others, which is self destructive. You are doing the right thing. I am separated myself. At first it tore me up, now i am grateful they left. I was so traumatized by their behaviour it stressed me out medically to the point of brain seizures. I am glad they are gone and i never want to see them, hear from them or want them back in my life ever. And don't feel surprised if you do the same. In the meantime sort out your misguided feelings. we often glamorized what we had and ignore the hell we have. talking to a therapist makes it real for us... blessings