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Old Dec 18, 2015, 09:53 AM
Anonymous37918
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Hi,

I've been grieving not having the kind of parents I needed growing up. Thus far, I've mostly been grieving through drawing because it has felt easier than finding the words, but now I feel I'm finally ready to talk/write about it. So, here goes. Just need to share this

It feels like a pang to the stomach that my mum didn't love me. Not enough.. She took care of me, kept me alive - but she hated who I was. She didn't want to know about my feelings if they messed with her plan for my life, or hers. Like, if she'd listened to me when I cried over being scared of my dad, she would have had to face the question of whether or not she should leave him. She didn't want that, so she didn't listen to me.

She wanted me to go to school and basically live the life she missed out on - so she could live it through me this time, I don't know!? - but I didn't want that. And I'm not letting go of what I want anymore. She can go F herself if she won't let me live the kind of life I want to lead, in peace.

I have spoken
Hugs from:
TerryL