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Originally Posted by phoenix31
Whether I was manic is what I've been trying to determine, because normally my paranoia and delusions have been very negative, as what you described with yourself. I haven't recognized any mania and have gotten upset with people who tried to point out that I might have been manic at different times. I've only recently begun to be able to see more clearly and maybe identify things as others see them, which is why I'm wondering if I was manic during the period of time I described.
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The part of your description that sounds manic to me is how you spent or donated all your paycheck sometimes. The other part that sounds manic is that you felt very happy and hopeful.
Quote:
Originally Posted by phoenix31
Would you consider your delusions psychotic? It sounds like it to me but I don't really get how all of this works just yet, as some people have mentioned delusions based in anxiety, etc. That's why it seemed weird that delusions like what you described could come from low self esteem, because it seems psychotic so I don't get how that works.
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I think my delusions were psychotic, because there were also some hallucinations. But like you, as I read about psychosis and talk to people who have different forms of psychosis, it isn't a perfect match. Somebody told me that the labels such as bipolar, schizophrenia, whatever are not perfect. Everybody is different and experiences something unique.
On the low self esteem, I think it is only one of many factors. Some psychiatrists think that psychosis is the brain's way of repairing itself - sort of like how a fever helps to combat a virus. For example, it is very common for people to hallucinate loved ones while grieving a death. Also, many people develop psychosis during stressful times like when they are moving away from home around 18 and so forth. In my case, the psychosis seemed to be a result of my psychological condition and circumstances at one particular time in my life instead of being a medical condition. Most people need to take medication. On the other hand, I do have these mild relapses of delusional thinking, so I'm not quite back to normal after the psychotic episode. The difference is that I know the thoughts are ridiculous now.
Even if you can't precisely identify what happened to you, you might be able to look at preventative measure that work for a range of illnesses. For example, exercise, sunshine, sleep, nutrition, breathing exercises, etc. IDK Maybe it was a once in a lifetime thing like it was for me - especially if you take care of yourself.
