Hey guys, I'm new to this forum. This looks like a good place to get some opinions rather quickly as there are a lot of members and a ton of activity. Here's my situation:

I've been married for 6 1/2 years, and we met almost 12 years ago. We have a 4-year old daughter who is a major handful (reason we only have 1 child). I'm an engineer, and right now my wife works part-time as a housekeeper. She has a degree as a veterinary technician, but she stopped practicing before our daughter was born. My wife is a very emotional person, and she is very passionate about animals which is why she stopped practicing. She couldn't handle the death aspects.

She's extremely hard-working and ethical with whatever she does, but she has a hard time finding balance in her life. Almost everything is overdone, and in my opinion she is immature for her age. We are in our early 30's. I'm 2 years older than her, but she has had much more dramatic experiences in her life. I would've thought this would've matured her quite a bit, but I'm the one who tends to handle responsibility more than her. She doesn't deny this either. She admits she's childish a lot, just not as much as I think she should. This causes a lot of issues between us.

I've always been of the mindset that one is responsible for their own happiness regardless of whether or not there is a partner/family. Sometimes my wife agrees with this, but other times she decides not to agree when she blames me for her stress or anger. I read in another thread this statement "Oh and by the way, how a person makes you feel says oh so much more about them than it does about you...think about that for a little while...". I can't describe how much I disagree with this, unless it is directed specifically towards people with mental issues. I think someone of sound mind and body should have total control of their emotions.

Lately we have been fighting over a lot of stuff, most of which is small but escalates into large fights over personality and power struggle. She throws out claims of me being controlling and dismissing her feelings, and I'm almost positive those are false. However, I'm objective enough to realize that's just my perception, and there's at least 2 sides to this. We also tend to fight a lot about our differences in how we approach our physical health. I'm quite healthy, and I work at it a lot. She's sick all the time and doesn't take good care of herself, and I'm tired or showing sympathy for an adult with everything she has available to her but still makes bad decisions like smoking, not eating a balanced diet, or not exercising.

Also, my wife sees a therapist regularly and also goes to a support group every other week that is run by her therapist. It's basically a bunch of other women who have similar issues and they are talk about it, but they do it in a harsh and honest way.

I don't want to drone on too much longer because I worry that it will turn away a lot of people from reading. I know there are lots of things left out so please ask me to clarify or add things. I just don't know what to do here about my marriage or my child.