Thanks for asking this question. I'm also very curious about this.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CopperStar
Every time I don't know what I feel. It's like a flurry of emotions that run under my surface, I can't identify them or hold onto them, and then they're suppressed quickly again.
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I identify a lot with that statement. Hearing things about my dad sends a little thunderstorm flash through my head and my heart rate picks up.
We have to make decisions we can live with. But you don't owe that man anything. You owe it to yourself to be gentle and kind to yourself. You owe it to yourself to maintain your emotional wellbeing. It's not weak, it's not selfish, it's the right thing to do. It's important because you went through something growing up that no one should ever go through. You're not dealing with the traditional ball of wax. You're absolved for foregoing any kind of duties as his child. It sounds like he forfeited any right to that long ago.
If you go see him, do it for you. Do it because that's the person you are and that's what you need.
I would caution against doing it as a sacrifice because you feel obligated.
For what it's worth, if you do care what anyone thinks of you, I think you're very brave and I wish you the best with this.