I have similar trust and paranoia problems. I play mind games, such as naming bands a thru z. Example: Aerosmith, beach boys, the cure, Neil Diamond, the Eagles... etc. And I keep repeating the alphabet till the feelings aren't overwhelming or obsessive. I first started having challenges at 21. By the time I hit 38, I finally hit rock bottom and sought out therapy, sobriety, a psych and medication. I've come along way since then, working again, saving money, returning to school but I still struggle with paranoia, delusional thinking, etc... I've found playing a happy, upbeat song continually for 4 hrs with headphones helpful.