That's hilarious!

Some things can't be hashed out. Some hatchets can be buried. Many people don't want to believe that but I presume those people haven't conceived of just how deeply abuse wounds a person.

You have to mourn the loss of any relationship. You have to honor those feelings. That's the road to healing. You deserved a good mom and a good family. We all do. When it doesn't happen we need to grieve that loss.

So you weren't born to enable or take abuse. Neither was I! You wouldn't really be ousted from your family, you're already not in the doormat/enabler club.

You do have to think about your daughter, but your happiness does actually come first, it matters a lot to our children -- studies show that in many ways kids are as happy as their parents are. If you're getting emotionally abused by your mom, or guilted or invalidated by your other family members, that turmoil sends a shudder through your own family unit.

I'm no contact with my abusive Dad and I might not even know if he was dxed with a heart condition, or even died. But I know I'm one of those people who has to start family from scratch, it'll be a little one and I'll have to grow it with the values (respect, dignity, kindness, gratitude) that I identify with. It's not a big club, but it's a righteous and peaceful club.