looking for suggestions (Sorry I am a terrible speller)

I'm living with BP, been around since I was in my early 20's. Maybe even earlier, but treatment began in my 20's. That's about 23 years of experience, knowledge and denial. I'm stable these days (been just over a year since I have been sever enough to enjoy the white walls of a hospital)

I have even spent over 15 years working as a nurse, FMLA was a life saver. But I did it through all the ups, downs and triggers. I am no longer working, and i have time on my hands (and a new grand-baby on the way0

Anyway, sorry for dragging this out). My Grandmother has moved into my mothers house. She has asked that I help care for her. Pretty much a home health care nurse (except I don't get paid). I go every Friday and set up the next week medications, I take her to all her appointments and I act as her advocate. Now the tricky part, my mother and I do not get along well. "Well" doesn't give it justice. According to her BP is made up and one only acts like that because they are childish, selfish, refuse to control the're emotions and oh let me say it again selfish little attention hogs.....that need their ***** spanked.

It started out that on Fridays when I came over was time for her and my father to leave the house and have some "husband-wife" time...go to the moving - shopping, what ever. Give them a break away for caring for Grandma 24/7. That was great, but now she wants to be home and over my shoulder ever action, step or phone call I make (calling doctors or calling in prescriptions so one) She has become "toxic" to me. Now every time I leave there I'm either pissed off or crying so hard I shouldn't be driving. I started actually driving around to the next block and parking my car and crying till I can hardly breath.

I'm in complete refusal that I am going to let her behavior stop me from caring for my Grandma. I have no room at my house to bring her here, nor can I be with her 24/7. She borderline belonging in a nursing home, but financially it's not a choice, especially since family members are able to care for her. Please don't get my wrong, my mother is doing a wonderful job caring for my Grandmother. And my Grandma is happy to be living with her son. I just feel like the rotten egg soon as I walk through the door.

I just don't know how to keep this Toxic women from becoming a trigger and sending me over the edge???? Any suggestions??

I'm on here very often but please if you can help - I will get the message.