Hello I.Am.The.End.: I don't really have advice for you. I mostly wanted to leave a brief note letting you know I read your post. It's really unfortunate that both you & your bf are in doctoral programs in fields where you may not be able to find employment... SO much work... with no final reward! I hope things turn out better than you anticipate. I'm afraid I can't offer much in the way of relationship advice. Relationships have never been my "long suit", as they used to say. I wish you well...