Yes, has she been traumatized? Did she have a bad childhood? Did she go through a lot of stressful situations?

I honestly think that as someone without struggles it's easy for you to say "she just needs to do X, Y and Z *like me* and she'll be fine". It doesn't really work like that.

I also find much judgment in your statements and little compassion.

Here's one fault of yours that I will point out.

You married her expecting her to change. Don't get mad that she was showing you her true self from the get-go and didn't grow into what you wanted her to be. That simply isn't fair.