I think I sort of know what you're going through. I was a member of another site where I got to know a few people somewhat closely. I was a member for a number of years. One night I just had one of those moments where I simply knew for sure what I had to do, sort of a lightning bolt moment when I realized the site was actually making me feel worse overall and I knew I had to leave. I thought I'd be able to hang on to those closer friendships. It turns out I was wrong. It was a hard blow realizing that those friendships were over, too. It's been over three months now and I still think about one of my friends a lot. I miss him. But, now I realize that I wasn't an actual friend to him. I was a friend of convenience. People were friendly with me simply because I was there. God forbid they have to put any effort into the friendship. (Won't text, won't email, won't message me on Facebook, etc). I left the site so it's as if I don't exist anymore. It hurts. It really hurts! But it seems that online relationships are disposable. Sometime I wish I was born a generation or two ago (or more). This online stuff is just too confusing to someone like me who doesn't understand relationships to begin with.