Hello,

I'm new here and would greatly appreciate insight into a phenomenon I call "living symbolically."

Growing up in a narcissistic/codependent family, we behave as if everything were PERFECT at all times. Happy. Never irritable. No boundaries. No anger.

But, things were far from perfect. Itf's so ingrained, even to this day. It's only at moments of extreme upset that I feel life is real. Sometimes, it's as though I'm seeing myself clearly for the first time. Very difficult to describe.

Is this dissociation or just being an actress/living in my head?

Thanks!