in another post you stated...
My estranged husband started calling me and I take the calls to keep peace for as long as I can but they soon get nasty and they are headed that way now again.....

here in america domestic violence and other agencies can not help if you are choosing to continue to have contact with this person.

the word estranged means he is not living with you, and you are saying you are choosing to take his calls to keep the peace...

that right there makes is so that agencies like shelters , domestic violence can not help you. because its your choice to pick up the phone and listen to him rant rave what ever to you.

its hard to understand but lets take it out of context for a moment with a completely different situation so you can see what I mean..

lets say I know someone who gets drunk and mean when they drink. they call me and say hey theres a party tonight want to go. I know party means alcohol so I know this person is going to get drunk and be mean to me. but I still open the door and get in this persons car and sure enough after one drink the person starts calling me names and swearing at me, belittling me.. can a domestic violence shelter help me...no why because I made the choice to go with him even though I knew he was going to get drunk and be mean to me.

same situation here. this guy isnt living with you, you are the one choosing to answer the phone and be around him so law wise domestic violence shelters cant help you. no crime is being committed against you as long as you are choosing to continue to have contact with this person by answering his phone calls.

the first step to stopping something like this is dont answer the phone. if he persists then you call the police and have him charged with harassment, you two go to court and prove how he is harassing you (legally wise it doesnt count as harassment if you are answering the phone when he calls. legal wise thats like giving him permission to talk with you because you are making the choice to continue contact with him)

when you go to court you ask for a restraining order. this is a paper that states neither one of you can be with in 500 feet of each other and can not have any contact with each other. it either one goes against the court order the one that went against it can be arrested. some states have automatic arrest for things like this whether or not the victim wants to press charges.

my suggestion is if you really dont want this person in your life then do not answer the phone when he calls and if he shows up at your home to call the police.then get a a court order.

only you can choose whether you want to continue to be in contact with this person or not (unless of course you are a part of the amish cultures in Pennsylvania (where your profile says you are from, in which case again theres nothing a shelter can do for you because in the amish culture the man is the boss kind of situation but you can choose to leave the amish community and move somewhere else outside the amish culture if you wish)