I will be 35 in 5 months. For the past year, my periods have been horrible. Sometimes (like now) going 11 days. The first week they're like a normal heavy period then for the next 5 days they're light. I don't even see blood until I wipe after peeing. There isn't any on the pad. My hair is thinning. I am either gaining 10 pounds or losing 10 pounds. My sex drive is at 0. I have no desire for it. I cry a lot over stupid things. I have a lot of break outs on my face but it's not acne. I just always have a pimple or two. I have mild cramping and my bowel movements are weird too. I'm constipated most of the time.

Now, the past year and a half has not been an easy one. Starting in July of 2014, over half of my husband's family has died. The ones that I loved. I had lived with them for 15 years. It started with his aunt committing suicide. Then 5 weeks later I found his mother dead of a heart attack in bed. My husband became extremely abusive so I had to leave in November 2014. I moved 80 miles away and had a boyfriend who turned out to be a nightmare. I left from there in December. In February of this year my husband said he'd changed and was working on his issues. For a couple weeks it was great. Then the boyfriend texted me. I didn't talk to him but it made me really quiet and withdrawn. I finally told me husband 3 days later. He went off. Got violent so I left. Again. I moved to the next town (my hometown) and stayed with a friend. She is as drug addict. She kept doing meth. Which I don't care, I just told her keep it away from me because I've been clean for over 15 years. She would get high. And try to keep me awake. I would tell her I had to sleep. Well one morning in April, I had been up and down all night with my anxiety and a sinus cold and was laid back on my bed with my arm over my eyes while she talked and talked. All the sudden I smell meth in my face. She had took a hit of meth and blew it in my face!! I was livid. I cussed her and threw something at her. She left. I tried calling my husband and grandmother all day to come get me but no one was answering. Finally at 8pm my husband had gotten off work. That day I had nothing to eat or drink because my friends water line was busted and dope heads don't keep food in the house. By this time, between lack of food and anxiety over that meth being blown in my face, I was a mess. My husband came, brought me food and coffee and took me to my grandparents house. My grandmother has severe mental issues and she can be verbally and mentally abusive towards me. She doesn't mean to. She's bipolar and refuses medication. And she's 78 years old. I was there. In June I went on a morning friend date and got a call to come to my husband's house ASAP because someone had died. No one would tell me over the phone. I got here 30 minutes later. It was like a horror movie. My husband was standing under a tree he had blood on his hands and was in shock. The police were trying to get him to take crisis management right there. His uncle, who was like a brother to him. Who had always took up for my husband and helped us out during Christmas to make sure our boys had a really good one, had shot himself on our side walk. He has used a deer rifle. My husband was the only one home and had just woke up and was taking out the trash while his coffee was making and found his uncle on the side walk. He ran over and saw blood and thought he'd fallen son he rolled him over and well.... what he seen was not something I would describe here. It's too gory. My husband wouldn't speak at that point. He was just standing there like he was somewhere else. The police took pictures tired of his hands and was trying their best to conduct an interview. My husband described what he'd seen and how. The police eventually left. My husband was in such shock. The sidewalk looked like a horror movie. I got him and his grandfather in the house and put on coffee. And found out that my uncle's children were on their way. I didn't want them seeing that side walk. So I got garbage bags and bleach and scrubbed it. Picked up parts of my dear uncle in law. And cleaned the fence. For over an hour I cleaned. When I was done there was nothing there. His kids came not long after. I stayed here. I couldn't leave my husband and his grandfather. They're my family. And 6 weeks later my husband's great uncle unexpectedly died from an aneurysm. It's so much grieving for us. Now my husband is very volatile. He's suicidal. He has panic attacks, flashbacks and talks about his uncle's death all the time. He is very hard to deal with. He gets abusive physically. I can not find him a psychiatrist. I've got him in therapy though.

That was my year. I'm beyond stressed out. I can't get into my doctor until January 15th so I'm obsessing about this whole period thing. It's triggering my own health anxieties and the panic attacks come in waves all through out the day. My .5 Kolonipin is not helping anymore. To top it off I got a job. At McDonald's. I start next week and I'm really freaking out about that. Could all this stress be the cause of my long periods? Can I die from it??