I'm so mad and scared right now and I don't know where to put all of these emotions. I've been working on getting disability due to some serious physical issues. I've always been the main source of income and while I get LTD from my former employer, it's not enough. The thing is my husband has some serious issues with getting a job. He had one earlier this year, but his boss was a jerk and he lost his job. Now we are at the end of our rope and rather than try to get a job, he just freaks out at me and then goes and hides. I can't take this uncertainty in our lives, not being able to pay the bills and having to explain to the landlord that the rent will be late again. It freaks me out and I alternate between crying and screaming at him to do something. I'm afraid I'm going to have to go back to work, but I've lost my last two jobs because of my health. Sometimes I just want to stand in the middle of the house and scream. I've been thinking about hurting myself again, or just making it all go away. I can't take it any more and he just refuses to do anything.