My view/feeling is that all personality disorders come from a disordering of whatever it is that creates/generates a sense of self. Or perhaps I could/should say a sense of self within a society.

I think/feel most people have a biological need/wish for our essence to be seen and valued by other people. It sounds to me, from what you have written, that either by nature or nurture your wires have been crossed or meshed together so that you experience having your sexuality valued as if it were the whole you. It’s easy to understand how that might happen – sexuality is so powerful, the experience of lust is so similar to love sometimes. Things just got confused. Or the circuits you were born with weren’t very distinct.

However, if that’s fairly accurate, then you can still learn to MAKE the distinction, of course, which it sounds like you’re doing. As you said, you felt flattered. Good recognition of your feeling, expressed verbally, not acted on. Yes, baby steps are still STEPS. Rome wasn’t built in a day.