I commend you for pursuing a doctorate. It is a dream of mine, but now I'm questioning whether I'd like to pursue it. In all seriousness though, I relate a lot to what you're saying. Not being a contemporary beauty, or liking myself all that much either. What Yagr shared could not have been conveyed any better. There is a message there you might want to take to heart. I know I will try to. You're at a point where there are a lot of unknowns in your life, so insecurity makes a lot of sense.

Relationships are not my forte. So there isn't any advice I can really give you, other then being gentle and kind to yourself. Understanding and accepting these insecurities and knowing they aren't permanent. Take care of yourself.