You can't depend on anyone. I can't depend on your answers you don't know what it's like to be that badly misinformed misunderstood and pushed away no matter what you do. You can't do it. So you try to avoid everyone and be your own person leaving everything behind making something out of nothing, but no one calls you or sees your ok. No one tries to show they are sorry for hurting you no matter how they say they are close with you, they don't.

They haven't. I don't expect people to care. It just hurts a lot.

I ****ing hate being here. I can't change people. I can't change my surroundings very fast as I would like to. It's out of my hands, because of my parents forcing their financial debt when I was 15 to now. I can't live a normal life to grow and expand. I have to survive. I don't want to do that anymore, but that's such a simple request becomes the most aggravating frustrating difficult thing I have been aiming for.
Having 1 basic friend I can be close to is so hard. I can't do it, years and years of failed burnt bridges I dont' know what to do anymore.

You can't tell me to change some attitude and it will get better based on my responses. You don't know. You don't know. simply if you were in my position saying that. I doubt it you would last a year with what I deal with.

That's my point I tell everyone they don't know. They never do. That's why I'm very lonely. I'm very hurt. No amount of therapy has helped. All I want to do is run away and not be around people anymore I'm tired of it. I don't want to work for someone to rely on myself. It isn't working I haven't given up but it isn't working.

Can anyone get that?