I have had many psychiatrists say that I have borderline traits. And then when I got personality testing it apparently showed that I only have avoidant personality traits.
I don't agree with avoidant traits because I think I act fine in social situations. The borderline I agree with completely. With 8 hospital admissions and serious self harm. As well as pent up anger. The only avoidance trait I really have is that I don't like criticism and I avoid close relationships because I'm scared of being hurt. Which is because of past relationships that have been really intense.
When I told my doctor that I don't understand how my self harm and suicidal duration fit into avoidant personality disorder and she said that I do it because I avoid feelings and thoughts and that is how they emerge. My self harm is also apparently an avoidant trait because I do it and then don't tell anyone. Which isn't a borderline trait. But I usually self harm as a threat in my mind. Like **** you I'm going to go self harm because you didn't do what I wanted you to do.
I'm just really confused about all the overlapping symptoms and would appreciate some clarity. Thank you.