Quote:
Originally Posted by Plumprincess
My husband needs therapy, he is controlling and emotionally unstable. He would get mad if I sent a text message to my daughters grandmother???? He would get mad at almost anything I did. This is the 3rd time I have ask him to leave the house "it was my house first" because my nerves were so bad with his ups and downs that I couldn't do simple things anymore like get a shower and put on my makeup. I don't even look like the same person anymore. I am in such a deep depression over the collapse of my marriage. I have been crazy about him since I was 13.......I lost touch with him over the years and we finally got together 22 years later. I question if I am making the right decision in ending my marriage without trying therapy first? I can't live with him right now......I have to know what is causing him to behave like this. This is the worst Christmas I have ever been through.......
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It takes two willing participants to make couples therapy work. Not to say that individual therapy for someone going through this isn't beneficial.
My exhusband came home unexpectedly a couple of times when I refused to answer the multitude of calls, so I understand the 'keeping the peace.' Not that it's healthy. But it was what it was. In hindsight, yes he[my ex] has bpd.
It took several attempts to leave, plus a couple years of counseling and support groups. Wasn't fully in the clear after. We have kids. I was assaulted a couple of years after my divorce with death threats when he discovered that I moved on. It was then a couple of years no contact with a restraining order, a charge and trial by the DA's office, probation and anger management and a hefty court fine before where it stands is shared legal custody and my moving one community away from him and no controlling behavior on his part.
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