[QUOTE=TryingToMoveForward;4830112]When you're depressed? Not so much. And I was very open with everyone about what was going on, and friends just abandoned ship. I have serious abandonment issues, and that's why I feel disposable. I've been ditched by people I cared about a hell of a lot. Abruptly. Sometimes without explanation, leaving me feeling like I had done something horribly wrong and could never figure out what.{QUOTE]

=========Hi TTMF , I just wanted to reply to your situation because I've been through something very similar. And I'm talking about RL people not on-line.
I'm in my 6th generation and also have been said to have BPD. The reason I said "have been said " is because I'm tired of the labels. I am who I am , period. Whatever the reason , it's not that I get too attached to people it's just that I care too much and want to know them more than on a superficial level , which is what most relationships are , superficial. Everybody has their secrets that you'll never know about.

I put out and out never getting much in return. I started feeling like I'm just not as important and was being used. And guess what , most of the time that's exactly what's happening. They would say things like, well I can't give you all my attention etc..... I never asked for it all , just some more than what was given.
Some people just don't know how to really get close on a deep level because they're afraid they might have to open up. Oh I just love the one's where they don't even give you an explanation. This happened with my wife of MANY yrs. No explanation , just wanted to "move on" . Two children who won't have an adult conversation even though they're supposed to be adults chronologically. And so called best friend whose an alcoholic that I tried to help.
I was blamed for everything. I was too clingy , too needy and still having to pay for mistakes made 30 yrs ago. There aren't enough sorry's in the world , (backed up by actions), to make a difference.

You see they are perfect and your not. It was all ********. They just didn't want to admit their own character defects and shortcomings. They didn't know how to get close. If you become superficial I guarantee you'll have a lot of "friends".

After my divorce I moved to a new area. I'm alone with physical problems that keep me from going out a lot. I have no RL friends. I can't work. I'm totally alone except for talking to you right now. I've been abandoned by my whole family, and blood relatives and non-blood relatives. A whole life of phoniness. Mental illness or not , is that the way it should be ? Dedicate your whole life to people who just throw you away once your not needed anymore ?
My depression coupled with my physical pain has brought me to a new time low. Hard to make new friends the older you get. I think so anyway. Especially if you have a lot of "issues"".
Believe me , I know how you feel and empathize with you. Hope your still young enough to make something of your life.

Best wishes,