Quote:
Originally Posted by unaluna
Youre right, the safety IS an illusion. A t is like being on a respirator after surgery until you can breathe on your own again. A parent isnt really all-powerful, it just seems that way to the infant. Thats why i put "equals" in quotes. I mean you stay in your recognized roles, according yo recognized rules. .
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But is that healthy, to stay in recognized roles? That is precisely what kept my therapy afloat, and when I tried to circle back and play a different role -- more direct and real, asserting my needs rather than deferring -- I was shut down. So it was all a charade. Two people playing their usual roles while both pretending that something productive was going on.
True safety and trust require mutuality it seems.