Hi sinking: Well... as far as your appointment tomorrow goes, from my perspective, the guiding principle is simply to be as forthcoming as possible. The more you are able to share with your T, the better that person will be able to help you. (But then you undoubtedly know that.) So, anyway, I would say just tell your T what is on your mind as much as you feel you can.

You know... the mind is a complicated thing. I don't think it is unusual for a person to want to have thoughts that society as a whole might consider to be shocking. I have them. I suspect almost everyone does to one degree or another. It's just that we don't talk about them IRL... mostly because we'd be embarrassed. And as long as we don't act on them, where's the harm? It's like is said regarding meditation practice. Whatever comes up in meditation practice is okay. Or, like the old saying goes: "... if you don't mind... it doesn't matter." As long as you're not disturbed by your thoughts, it's okay. They only become a problem if-&-when they begin to bother you... or if you begin to feel that you must act on them. At least these are my thoughts...