Yes, parts of me have started to change. I can't explain exactly how that happened, but I think it might have to do with the thousands of pages of journaling (letting each part say what they want to say), Hours upon hours of therapy, learning to ground myself, seeking to understand the parts and their roles and letting bigs take some of the stuff that the littles were doing. Lots of imagining interactions. Lots of patience with self.
And in the middle of doing all that, melting down pretty frequently. Who knows, maybe the meltdowns were all part of it too?
But little Marie no longer has to take all of the bad feelings. She still feels bad (make no mistake there) but she doesn't carry the whole load for the whole system. It used to be like a funnel where any feelings of insecurity, abandonment, rejection just funneled right to her. Poor little thing. She still sleeps with teddy bear from t1, still cries easily, still pops up at moments when she could stay in back.
I guess what I am trying to say is that she is not as miserable as she used to be.