Hi all. Not sure if my intro post should go here but as it is AvPD I've signed up to talk about I guess it's OK.

tl:dr - I have AvPD, not sure if I should continue with my therapist, would like some online support if there's anyone out there like me.

I'm male, 35, live in the UK. I have no formal medical history of any mental health issues but I've been conscious of the way I think and the way I am for years now and I have read about personality disorders. Recently I booked some sessions with a local therapist, we talked about my situation, my family and social history, we did some Y/N type tests, and he concluded that my attachment style is avoidant. I hadn't mentioned to him that I've read on the subject to avoid prejudicing the outcome but it came as no surprise.

My situation is that I am estranged from my family and have few friends, none close. My circle of friends has reduced over the last 5 to 10 years and because I don't like closeness and keep people at a distance none have been added. I have a good job though which pays well and which puts me in contact with a lot of people which ironically I enjoy and am good at. The people who know me through work see me as confident, intelligent, capable. The few people who know me better than that, the "few friends" above, suspect that I'm lonely, insecure and isolated. I hate this, it feels shameful because they are right of course, so I much prefer interaction with people who don't really know me and who like and respect the image I (think I) successfully portray.

I signed up with a therapist because I want to change the person I am, indeed I've come to realise that life without any meaningful relationships is empty and meaningless and I'd give anything to be more connected to others. However I'm not sure my therapist's solutions are worthwhile. Having ascertained what's wrong, he suggests that we continue to meet weekly and that doing so will reframe my internal view on attachment. He described it as "like a friendship, but focussed on me rather than him". I think it sounds like I'd be paying him to pretend to be my friend for an hour a week and that doesn't seem like it would help my self esteem. I think that solution might be a good starting point for someone who doesn't have any interactions with others, but I do have positive interactions with people they are just on a professional level with appropriate distance maintained.

Has anyone had a good experience working with a therapist treating AvPD? What did you/they do? Do you think I should continue with mine?

I think what might help me would be talking to people who have experience of the same problem and what has, or hasn't, helped them, so I'm hoping here is the place.