I too have been depressed for a while and I understand where you're coming from when you say it's hard to look toward the future. I've been trying not to make any life-changing or major decisions during this time and attempting to remember the goals and ideals I set for myself before I felt this way and hanging on to those as best I can. I hope things improve for you … after the holidays is usually worse for me, but maybe things will look up for you soon since the holidays are upon us and will soon be over. Good luck!