How do you know that you aren't without a doubt Skitzophrenic? You still heard a voice tell you to do something. Skitzophrenics also have internal voices by the way....I've asked one once because the voices that I hear are internal- but I'm not skitzo myself, they are variations of my own voice, though.

You aren't a bad person because you are here seeking advice and help. A psycho- social- path wouldn't even care. You have feelings for your cat which means that you care. Please seek help and treatment for what's been leading you.

It can be possible that you've built up an identity that you are accustomed too that served your purpose like you said, to deal with anger and stress as a coping skill, but now that it's taken it a step too far, you are ready to step back, but the identity part wants to move forward. This is just a guess because I have an identity problem myself.

Seek treatment to find the real you because you are asking. You need to retrain the brain!