My mother was an alcoholic and extremely neglectful, but not physically abusive. She loved us, but didn't know how to care for us, and her own self esteem was so low she barely cared for herself.

She passed away from colon cancer about 18 years ago. My pain is the same as marmaduke, the deep grief of losing the opportunity to have the mother I should have but never did. I don't grieve Mom as much as I grieve the lost opportunity to have what I never did.