I'm glad you posted this today. It is exactly me, and I just hit the "f*%#, its over!!!" wall yesterday. Suddenly, it makes no sense that I love and crave mania so much. I'm looking around feeling like I tornadoed my life, I thought it was my real life, and now I have only emptiness and exhaustion left. Also I'm feeling so disillusioned. Here I was feeling like I was this new sparkly productive machine of a human, but I'm just sick. Run of the mill, destructive, stupid, unimpressively sick and humiliated.
Woof.

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