I am filled with anxiety. My next appointment isn't until 2 weeks and 3 days away on the Tuesday after labor day. (Not that I'm counting or anything.) I have so much crap going on and i feel so alone.

I really miss T a lot, have him constantly in my mind. I know that this is an opportunity for growth, but it comes with a high price.

I have realized that with him away I am afraid that something will happen to me. I am afraid that he won't come back or I won't come back. These are feelings of abandonment that I had in my childhood. They are very painful.

This is beyond difficult. There is a brick in the center of my chest.