Why do you have to "do" anything? Well, yes you do need to change your point of view... and that might take some time but with focus, you can do it! Wow, how many years were you in therapy, and what "home" work did you do to support it?

Ok, I'm not being mean and I sound like it eh?

Right now is not the right time to be making any decisions... one because you are depressed, another because it's that time of the year when "everyone" is "supposed" to be happy---and it just isn't so! More lies depression tells you.

So.. what to do? Quit being alone. Quit feeding your depression with sad music. I know the routine, been there done that... depression makes those things "comfortable".

You see how much better you feel when you are around others... THAT is the normal... and You DO GET THERE... so consider that the depressed times is the not normal time for you, it's the odd time and NOT THE REAL TIME that you live for... (rather than think you are a depressed person that has a few good moments...see?)

Focus upon stuff you like that makes you feel better...think about the good stuff. Your brain has no opinion of it's own and only tells the body how to feel from what thoughts you give it. If you give it negative thoughts, it makes them real and you feel bad. Give it good thoughts and it makes them real and you feel better.

You won't always feel this way. You have a good desire to make good relationships... and you can do that... things take time.... and especially in therapy. You didn't become this way overnight and you won't heal from it overnight...but out into the future you can imagine a good, enjoyable way of life with friends... really. It will probably happen for you sooner..but it will.