(((hugs))) if that's ok.

Your fears and pain are so understandable. All I keep thinking is, have faith in him, trust him, trust your relationship. I know that's incredibly difficult after a childhood full of abandonment - but allow him to prove he will come back. He will return to you. He'll be as ready to see you as you will be to see him. During the time he's away continue to write out your feelings, continue to write here for friends to help you through, and when he returns

I struggle with abandonment fears also. My T has been gone only since Wednesday and will be returning Monday and I'm an absolute mess. My attachment to her is so strong, and abandonment fears are so high that even in this short period I lose focus. All I tell myself is that so far she has been different then those in my past childhood experience and because she's never failed me once, I have to have faith in her.

Please rely on support from us here and those others around you to get through this temporary time! He will return!