I think you're being a little judgmental of your ex. Not everyone equates sex with love. A child sexual abuse survivor learns to DIS-equate sex with love out of survival. Yeah....if sex=love, then whoa.....its mind blowing to think that the abuse you're experiencing is actually love? No... I'm a CSA survivor and I don't equate sex with love. I don't even equate sex with "like"....! Sex is just sex. Yeah, I've had sex with people I like, but I don't assume that they like/love me because they have sex with me. The only thing that is fair to assume is that they actually like having sex with me! Beyond that, its anyone's guess. I think its a bit of a defense mechanism to say that if he went out and paid for sex that he never loved you. You've got very strict guidelines for what love is and what love is not.....I encourage you to try and think beyond this.