Quote:
Originally Posted by green0cake
People here in PC doesn't give their advises just for the sake of giving. One way or another, we want to share our experiences before so that you will not go through the hurt we've been before. I don't love myself the way I am loving myself now.
Anyways, you need to accept that on earth you are living in, you cannot control how people will treat you. Each and everyone of us has given a free-will to do what we wanna do in life. And with that, you cannot change how people will treat you. If people expect you to be ok, then it will be your reaction that matters to this.
|
I know. I like this.
I think I've never accepted being alive ever. I never did. I never had or could understand how. I just live with what I can. I don't really know, it's the isolation of being a witness to being alive not actually alive. I don't know how to express how that feels. Like you're always on the outside of the world passes you by feeling disposable and quick to end and begin again just so fast you can't keep up. You just want the madness to end, but everything moves too fast. You can't keep up and you just give up eventually trying to make it understandable and just live with it. It may help, but not much.
The fact my best friend died and my grandma went away and my child went away the way they did. I never know how to feel, whether to feel alive or dead. I'm in between feeling like I wish I was dead or alive. I never know what I want anymore. I just commit to things now without thinking about the consequences anymore, because I'd rather make a choice and an action than being miserable stuck in inaction.